Page 11 - ISI_164_OctoberNovember

OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2020 • IDAHO SENIOR INDEPENDENT hOmE & lIfESTYlE PAGE 11
Watt a Day

print on the sides of the boxes. Incredibly,
BY DICK WOlfSIE the lighting in that part of the store was
lousy.
(SENIOR WIRE) I hate going shopping for One brand boasted that the bulbs in
my wife. I don’t mean searching for a gift; the box would last 25 years. This was
I’m talking about running an errand. I not good enough for me. I’m only 73
never, ever find exactly what she wants, and and when I spend that kind of money on
I often bring home the wrong thing. Then bulbs, I want a lifetime guarantee. The
I have to go back to the store. I can’t even model number for another type of bulbs
get milk right. was 1003024303, which sounded like I
“Dick, you know I drink almond milk, had one chance in about 100 billion to
unsweetened, and organic. You got dairy, end up with the right ones.
not almond, and unless I’m color blind, this I never found exactly what she wanted,
looks like chocolate milk to me.” © Kursi Design, Bigstock.com. so there was some tension between us
Men are really bad at finding things in when we talked on the phone. That’s when
supermarkets. If you observe a man walking < Wattage: 60 I decided to inject a little humor.
the aisles in a hardware store talking to his < Life Hours: 3,500 Later, I walked in the house with a bulb
wife on the phone, it’s unlikely he’s asking < Bulb Type: LED in my mouth.
her which kind of lug nuts he needs for the < Color: Frosted, and make it soft white. “Having a light snack?” asked Mary
riding mower. But if you see this same guy Ellen. Darn! She beat me to the punch line,
in Kroger speaking with his wife on his cell, “Mary Ellen, you have to be kidding which really always ticks me off.
it’s because he has no idea where the tahini me,” I texted her back. “I have no chance to We agreed that having me shop for her
is—or what it is. get this right. Yesterday, you sent me back was never a good idea. Now, it was getting
This past week, Mary Ellen wanted me to to the grocery store because the yogurt had late, and we were hungry.
go to the hardware store to get some bulbs the fruit attached on the side. And you like “Why don’t you go get a carry-out pizza
for our kitchen. I said, “I’m not going back it on the bottom. for us?” Mary Ellen asked.
to the store four times. Tell me exactly what “Look, those specs are exactly what we “Okay, can you tell me what toppings
kind of bulbs you want. need for our new kitchen lighting. And make you want? I don’t want to make any more
“Okay, I’ll text it to you.” sure the clerk knows that all the fixtures mistakes.”
Here’s the message I got: are recessed. Please try to get this right the “Whatever you want,” said my wife.
< Diameter: 1.88 inches first time.” “I’m not particular.” ISI
< Base type: Medium There must have been 100 different
< Voltage: 130 kinds of bulbs, stacked to the ceiling. I put
< Lumens: 700 my glasses on and tried to read the small

BLIND SPOT The pedestrian light on the corner beeps I explained that it signals blind people
Submitted by Julie Fink/ when it’s safe to cross the street. when the light is red.
Brantley I was crossing with a co-worker of Appalled, he responded, “What on Earth
mine. He asked if I knew what the are blind people doing driving?”
beeper was for.

50 Quote, part 4 20 More wicked, in Worcester
56 Source of a siren 23 Touching competition?
58 “__ Mio” 27 Guacamole fruit
59 End of the quote 28 Disease-stricken tree
61 Avian crop 29 Face off
62 Score symbols 31 Knee injury initials
63 “You’re kidding!” 32 Key letter
64 Whodunit canine 33 La preceder
65 Club with a blue and white diamond logo 35 Long shot
66 Phillies slugger Hoskins 36 Coming-in hr., roughly
67 Nair rival, once 37 Sales staff member
39 Romanov adherents
Down 40 Lyricist Sammy
1 Old counters 45 Tech tutorials site
2 Hiking network 47 ER diagnostic tool
3 Defense attorney’s concern 48 Bucks
4 Be paid to watch, as children 49 Sparkle
5 Prefix with -gram 51 Yellowish brown
6 Techie training site 52 “Brideshead Revisited” novelist
7 Caroline Islands republic 53 Assortment
8 Dost speak 54 Thrill
9 Legendary Carthaginian general 55 Unfamiliar with
10 “You __ busted!” 56 Sharable PC files
11 Attach with string 57 Brain and spinal cord: Abbr.
12 __ City, Iraq 60 Saints’ achievements: Abbr.
15 The Carpenters, for one
18 Deep-water fish © 2020 TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.