Page 30 - ISI_171_AprilMay

PAGE 30 RECREATION
The
Hole
Truth!
BY DICK WOLFSIE
(SENIOR WIRE) I’m a born and bred (mostly
Jewish rye) New Yorker, but I’ve lived for
40 years in Indianapolis. I’ve eaten biscuits
and gravy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
(not all on the same day). I’ve had a pork
tenderloin that is four times bigger than
the bun, and I even wear shorts when it’s
below freezing outside. So I do consider
myself a Hoosier, but then the other day I
was really tested when my wife confronted
me with this:
“Dick, the neighborhood is having a
big get-together, a chance to meet new
people. Masks and social distancing will be
required.”
“Okay, I’m in.”
“It’s a cornhole contest.”
“Okay, I’m out.”
I did a search for cornhole on YouTube.
The first video was a guy who, from the
traditional distance to the board, had made
300 shots in a row. Then he stepped back
IDAHO SENIOR INDEPENDENT • APRIL / MAY 2021
be awkward to ask people to wear their ID
whenever they walk out their front door for
the next couple of years.
Mary Ellen is concerned about the virus,
so we were constantly rubbing our hands
with sanitizer gel, which is why several
of my shots landed not in the hole, but in
the lake. Despite all the food people had
brought, I wasn’t allowed to eat anything
“He said the key to holding the bag was to get a grip, because, to quote my wife, “No way your
hands are completely clean after you’ve
probably the same expression his wife uses when touched every person’s equipment in the
he spends all day and night throwing bean bags.”
© valbunny, Bigstock.com. neighborhood.”
I looked up the history of cornhole ,and
to 60 feet and made another 50 in a row, there were over a dozen theories about when
several from behind his back. the game began and how it got its name.
He said the key to holding the bag was My favorite was from a woman who claims
to get a grip, probably the same expression her great grandfather in 1899 found some
his wife uses when he spends all day and rotten corn and a plank with a hole in it. Her
night throwing bean bags. grandfather’s name, she says, was Timothy
I also watched some championship Cornhole. Hmmm, very convenient. If his
matches. I felt sorry for the announcers, last name had been Backgammon, well how
who didn’t have a lot of things to analyze. confusing would that have been?
There were a lot of oohs and aahs. And two The day after that neighborhood gath-
“wows.” They said “it’s a game of inches” ering, I saw a neighbor outside, and I asked
about a dozen times. him if he had played the previous night
Bottom line, I went and I played. I wasn’t because I didn’t recognize his legs. Peter,
very good at cornhole, but I got to meet a who is an engineer, said he would have
lot of new people: Jill, Kay, Ellen, Steve, done better had he taken into account the
another Steve. Cynthia and Bob. Everyone lubricity of the board.
had on a mask, many wore sunglasses When I got home, I looked up the term
and a cap, so I don’t have a clue how I’ll “lubricious,” by mistake. If you Google that
recognize them next time Mary Ellen and word, you’ll agree it would have made the
I walk around the neighborhood. Everyone game a lot more exciting. ISI
had a name tag on that night, but it would
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