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AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2021 • IDAHO SENIOR INDEPENDENT SPOTLIGHTS PAGE 15

“We had a commitment ceremony of our But the pair got a little “revenge” against “That’s something that kept me awake
own in 1998,” Steve said, “long before you the state’s apparent angst over gay mar- at night a lot,” Steve said. “I worried about
could be legally married. That’s what we riage. Each of them owed a little in taxes that for many years.”
still consider our wedding day.” to the state. “We each wrote a check to pay According to the couple, numerous mis-
In 2001, the couple went to Vermont, the other’s taxes and put in the memo line, conceptions surround non-gay attitudes
with two other couples, to complete their ‘my husband’s taxes.’” about the gay community, even from those
nuptials. The Green Mountain State was The checks were promptly cashed. who claim to accept and understand. Jim
the first in the union to recognize gay Finally, the Ninth Circuit Court of and Steve both stressed people should not
civil unions. Appeals struck down same-sex marriage assume the LGBTQ+ community is some-
At the time, “it meant nothing outside bans in Idaho, California, and Nevada in how living a different lifestyle.
Vermont,” according to Steve. 2014, and the U.S. Supreme Court struck “Lifestyle implies choice,” Jim said.
In 2013, the pair exchanged vows again, down all state bans in 2015, making same- “Being gay isn’t a lifestyle. That’s our
this time in Seattle. But their marriage still sex marriages legal in all 50 states. sexual orientation. We can’t change it any
wasn’t recognized in Idaho. Prior to gay marriage being recog- more than anybody else can. It’s fixed.”
Complexities continued, as the Idaho nized, gay couples had to consider their Steve said gender identity works the
legislature had to decide in 2014 how Idaho’s inheritances and how that whole process same way.
10 to 15 LGBTQ+ couples married elsewhere would happen. “Those are two things that you are...and
were going to file their state income taxes. “If one of us was seriously ill or died, you cannot change. They’re not a choice. My
“We were filing ‘married-filing jointly,’” the other person would have had absolutely sexual orientation is not what I chose, but I
Jim said, “but Idaho wasn’t recognizing that no legal standing to inherit,” Jim said. “We chose to accept about who I am.”
marriage. They had to come up with a whole had to have a will, a living will, power of They said another misconception is the
separate set of rules.” attorney and durable power of attorney, gay community wants special considerations.
Steve said they had to file their federal and have a lawyer get all this stuff done.” “There are no gay rights, no gay agenda,”
taxes together, but had to file separately They couldn’t even visit if one was Jim said.
in Idaho that year, which was “annoy- hospitalized. Steve agreed. “We want the same rights
ingly amusing.” you have. That’s what equal rights are.” ISI

AN IMPROVEMENT?
Submitted by Julie Fink/Brantley Finally, she spoke up, “Grandpa, did Feeling their respective faces again, the
God make you?” little girl observed, “God’s getting better at
A little girl was sitting on her grandfa- “Yes, sweetheart,” he answered. “God it, isn’t He?”
ther’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. made me a long time ago.”
From time to time, she would take her “Oh,” she paused. “Grandpa, did God
eyes off the book and reach up to touch make me too?”
his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately “Yes, indeed, honey,” he said. “God
stroking her own cheek, then his again. made you just a little while ago.”

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