By Bruce Midgett
We’ve been called “the in between generation.” I call us the “tweeners.” I even looked it up, and there is actually a term “tweens,” referring to those unfinished people between the ages of about 10 and 14. I can’t help but think this is just some sort of marketing ruse. Marketers have to call this rambunctious group something to separate them from their parents’ money. So they have become “tweeners.”
To make the distinction: “Tweens” are half-grown humanoids with few cares in the world beyond how their elders are screwing up their lives. “Tweeners,” on the other hand, are the many of us who are full-grown, realized people, some a bit more than full grown, who have not only their own cares, but the cares of kids we’re still raising and of parents with whom we’ve switched roles.
Though Diane and I ran out of parents a few years back, both of us became experienced tweeners during the last years of our four elders’ lives, herding the remnants of the following generation’s members and trying to make sense of the preceding generation’s members—all the while operating a business that required an occasional nod.
The initial point here, in case I’ve been too oblique, is there is no more stressed generation than the one trying to guide impulsive, inexperienced, all-wise young people while simultaneously trying to keep the older folks out of trouble, as well as trying to make a living and plan for the retirement phase of their lives. While those who fought in the second Great War could be called, in Tom Brokaw’s words, “The Greatest Generation,” we may not be the greatest generation, but we’re better than most.
To maintain both our composure and sanity, Diane and I have vowed the following affirmations to one another.
We’ve pledged to never become quite as daft as our parents were. Of course, we won’t realize our own daftness until it becomes obvious to others. Even then, it’s the others who are nuts, not us. So we’re not entirely sure how this one will work. Perhaps we’ll make notes to ourselves now, compare them with our daft thoughts in the future, and measure our comparative daftness as we proceed. This is all uncharted territory. We may just be wandering off a cliff here.
We plan to remain physically strong and healthy right up to our final breaths. In this we at least have a modicum of control. We exercise, read, do puzzles, stay engaged, and watch American Idol, Project Runway and Sixty Minutes. If we counterbalance these awarenesses with our previous daftness measure, we may succeed in convincing ourselves we’re much healthier than we actually are. It might just work. We’re not going to depend on our kids to remedy every wrinkle in our aging lives—well, maybe occasionally, just to make them feel useful. For one thing, we don’t want our kids to become the next tweeners. They might be better tweeners than we were. We have the edge at this point, and we’re not giving it up.
We will do what we can to leave scammers of the elderly lying cut and bleeding in our wake. There are plenty of scoundrels out there scheming to dupe us out of our life savings, but the older we get, the easier it is to lull the crooks into answering our inquiries in ways where they will expose themselves. If we’re vigilant and diligent, we can dupe the dupers every time.
We’re committed to remaining virulently opportunistic. We’ll keep looking for work as though we’d take a reasonably good job if it were offered, even though we won’t and have no plans to ever work again if we can help it.
We will endure our infirmities with dignity, even if shrouded with hospital gowns that are impossible to close over our exposed behinds. And dignity does not imply we will refrain from casting obscenities at those infirmities. They deserve it.
We will become more opinionated, not less. We deserve this liberty. We have some pretty good opinions. They should be heard without filters.
We will be irrepressibly optimistic. What’s the alternative? Cesspools of despondency abound, and there are no hip boots that will keep us from getting the muck all over us. Optimism is a shield against denying ourselves new experiences.
We will seek happiness in spite of everything. This could be the front edge of daftness, the vacant smile and far off stare while sitting in the midst of a house fire.
We will love one another with the fervor of the tweens, teens and romantic young adults we once were. There is no better way to seek happiness in spite of everything. ISI
